“We see each other’s humanness at the need level”¹.
— Marshal B. Rosenberg, PhD

Marshall B. Rosenberg developed the technique of Nonviolent Communication. When we live our lives most authentically, honoring one another’s feelings and needs, we can make the world a place of peace and mutual respect.

When the word “needs” comes up in conversation, many people conjure images of “neediness”, “dependency” and “selfishness”. What is intended here is a recognition of basic human needs as part of our birth right. When we honor these needs in ourselves, and one another, we can’t help but lead more powerful and connected lives. (“Needs” in this context, are similar to “personal values”, as I’ve discussed in blog entries. The subtle difference being that “needs” hit people at a more visceral level, while “values” may represent more of an “ideal”.)

What are your Top Ten “needs” from the below list that particularly resonate with you? Meaning, when you are living life from a place that feels most truly “you”, what of the below needs feel the most fulfilled? Conversely, what of these needs feel the most neglected in your day-to-day life? What’s the impact upon you of dishonoring these needs and how can you make sure they are being honored?

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CONNECTION

acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth

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PHYSICAL
WELL-BEING

air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water

HONESTY

authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY

joy
humor

PEACE

beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

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AUTONOMY

choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

MEANING

awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding
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The above table is reproduced here from:
Center for Nonviolent Communication
© 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org  Email: cnvc@cnvc.org  Phone: +1.505-244-4041

1 Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2005, Speak Peace in a World of Conflict, (p. 38), Encinitas, CA: PuddleDancer Press.