“What we resist, persists.” — Carl Jung
Circumstances, real or imagined, can send us on a downward spiral. We can fight it, trying all the usual aphorisms: “look at the bright side”… “remember all the good” in an effort to play “keep away”, but sometimes we can’t seem to avoid that sign post up ahead: “Entering Crappy-Land”.
As the saying goes, life is not always a “bowl of cherries” (spoken like someone who’s not allergic to cherries…) and it’s the challenging times that help us to appreciate the joyous ones. These challenging times are our best teachers and with teaching, comes growth and a more authentic You. “Yippee!” 😉
There are times when life feels difficult. Should we run away from every painful moment? Hide our heads in the sand until they pass? Pretend we’re “fine” when we don’t feel that way at all? Maybe…
[pullquote]Don’t build a home in “Crappy Land”[/pullquote]The Law of Attraction folks (and you know I’m a believer) would say that what you dwell upon brings more of the same. When we can dwell upon what’s good in our lives, it’s great… yet sometimes being in a painful place feels like a “familiar friend”. You know, the “friend” who gives you cake when you tell them you’re on a diet or who lights you a cigarette when you’re trying to quit. In no way is this painful place “your friend,” but it can feel familiar and we can equate familiar with “safe”.
It’s insidious… and untrue.
The Law of Attraction from a different angle… Sometimes the shortest way out, is through.
Pretending you’re “fine”, when you feel crappy, may actually slow down your return to the light. Why? Because as Carl Jung said: “What we resist, persists.” When we spend energy trying not to feel something, that’s where our focus goes: we dwell upon the very thing we don’t want to feel and so, we get more of it! We may need to push through it: simply allowing that we feel like sh*t may be just the release we need.
Here’s the deal though: acknowledging and feeling the feeling is very different from building a home there and inviting the above “familiar friend” in for tea. If you go in you have to remember to go through: like Winston Churchill said,
“When going through hell, keep going.”
When you’re hanging out on the fringes of “Crappy-Land”:
- Own it: Acknowledge that your feelings are real and that they are yours (if they are). Whether the circumstances have become overblown in your mind, or not, there are real feelings going on.
- Something’s gotta change: Just like pain in your body is a symptom that something is wrong, so too is emotional pain a sign that something in your life has got to change. What is at the root of the pain? Are you blowing something out of proportion or has something gone too long ignored? Spend some time looking at what’s bothering you to find the cause.
- Explore your part: What have you done that has contributed to this situation? We always play some part in our life’s circumstances. It may have been ignoring our intuition, or not taking care of ourselves, or not asking for what we need. What is your part?
- Brainstorm: What can you do to change your situation? Explore all of your options, however far fetched they may be, to find a few that are do-able. From the giant, outrageous solutions, to the practical smaller ones, leave no stone unturned in your brainstorming: write them all down.
- Involving others? If your solutions include other people, be prepared to approach them. Do you need them to make some changes? If so, go slowly, ask for what you need, tell them that you hurt, and be prepared to work on it together. Remember: blame and making someone “wrong” are sure ways to stay where you are. Change may require your changing the way you ask.
- Start implementing: Just as you would get a prescription to cure your physical ill, you’re following a prescription to heal your emotional pain. (If you need help to get through this healing, make sure you get it. You don’t have to do this alone.)
- Got Gratitude? As soon as you can manage it, remember all that you have! From the shoes on your feet to the roof over your head and the love in your life! Be grateful for your growth opportunities too and you will start to see solutions where before you saw only problems.
Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.
Image credit: arquiplay77 / 123RF Stock Photo