[buzzsprout episode=”19924″ player=”true”]
One of my resolutions in the New Year is to write my blog more regularly… In order to do that, however, I’ve resolved that I can no longer spend days working on each entry, but that I must plunk myself down and write “ad-hoc” in the moment in an effort to capture what’s “going on”.
Now nine days into 2011 I am fully in the consciousness of what it means to “resolve”. Sadly, New Year’s Resolutions have become a kind of joke. You hear them every year, and often the same ones from the same people. Usually within week two or so, most of us are back to doing what we’d been doing before.
So, what happens to our “resolve”?
The answer lies in what motivates us. How often do you hear yourself, or others say, “I should…” when it comes to “resolutions”? Think about that word, “should”. Virtually no one has ever been motivated by what they “should” do, right? Who tells you “you should” do something? People in positions of authority; your parents, your teacher in middle school, your guidance counsellor, your boss, your doctor, the police, the government, “the man”… And, generally, when you are doing something that you’ve been told you “should” do you skip merrily down the road in excitation towards that desired outcome? Right? Not hardly.
So, this year I’m going to invite you to make your resolutions from a different place. What do you want? That’s right, it’s a simple question… what do you want this year? Here are some key ways to look at what I’m getting at. Let’s say that you feel like you “should” lose 20 lbs. What goes on inside your head when you say that? Deprivation? Starvation? Misery? Yeah, that’ll inspire you! Rather than the usual routine for why you “should” let go of the weight (one friend says, “I never say “I lost the weight,” because means I’d like to find it!”) let’s look at a different model. Why do you want to be thinner? Who will you “be” when you’ve released those 20 lbs? What will you be able to do that you can’t do now? How will it make you feel when you’ve reached that long sought after goal? Why is it important to you?
Here’s another thing to think about; do you aim at the whole 20 lbs, get discouraged and give up? What would it be like to think about it in 5 lb increments instead, with a satisfying celebration at each benchmark reached? Like a pedicure, a new pen, or a massage?
This model can be applied to anything we want in life. Who will I be when I’ve attained “X”? What will it be like? Why is this important to me?
So, what are you resolving to resolve? Have you resolved to fail at your resolutions by giving yourself zero motivation, or are you going for what you truly want by empowering who you know yourself to be ?
Always infinite possibilities… always your choice.
I welcome your comments!
Music Credit: Auld Lang Syne by changee Watanabe
One Comment Add yours
Thank you for your comment, Dianne!
Your comment sparked a further idea… sometimes behind the should there is a deep desire for change, and indeed a want to achieve it. When we attach should to things we actually want, we can diminish that desire through the association that you have suggested; that “shoulds” come from outside of ourselves. What I’m suggesting in this entry is that if we desire change, we need to connect to the desire that motivates it rather than the sense that it’s an obligation to perform a duty of some kind.